A Question

Can one be modest and full of themselves at the same time? Cause, I think I am.

Let me back up. I think I'm good at my job. I love what I do, and I work really hard to kick ass at it. But at the same time, I like that I only have one annual performance review because it embarrasses me to hear that I kick ass at my job from other people. I'm pretty sure my boss thinks I'm one of the greatest things since sliced bread (the reason I believe this to be true is he was harder on himself during my evaluation than he was on me, and kept saying he could be better about x, y, or z.), but I hate hearing it because honestly, I feel like the expectation should be that I kick ass BECAUSE its my job and I shouldn't hear about how awesome I am. Honestly I think it makes me a little lazy to hear because then I get comfortable and quit trying for a few days.

A good example of this predicament coming to light recently is with this huge education project I've been slaving over for months now. We are down to the wire and I am mere hours of work away from completion. We were developing the credits page for the project disc, and both my boss and a colleague of mine wanted to put my name at the top of the list as the Project Manager. This embarrassed the crap out of me. 1. I should never, ever be listed higher on a credit list than my own boss and other people who far outrank me and 2. I don't necessarily need a title change. I did what I was asked to do. I don't feel that I deserve any credit above and beyond anyone else.

I find it interesting that one of our departments throws themselves a party after completing this one annual task they are responsible for. Um, what? I don't see why one would think "Hey I did my job...let's throw a party to celebrate!" If we did that in our department for every performance we pulled off, then we would never get anything done. I like having the very occasional pat on the back, hey yall are doing great gathering for the whole company, but I find it disturbing that they feel the need to celebrate that they did what was expected of them...

Is this weird to feel this way? Am I the lone modest, big headed individual in the universe?