Early Mother's Day Gift

Last night I took my mom to see Tony Bennett live in concert at Jones Hall. We were presenting him, so I was able to get last minute nose-bleed seats. I honestly had no desire to see Mr. Bennett perform. I can appreciate his music and style, but for the most part he does not make me swoon.

Mom is a different story.


(How cute is she?!?)

I could tell she was getting really excited as we made our way to the hall. I took her downstairs to see my cube (cause Mom loves to see those random things about my life...she's cute like that) and we ran into my coworker Rebecca, who does artist service type things. She was making a pot of coffee, and she mentioned in passing that she had to take Mr. Bennett his coffee. My mom's mouth dropped and she was in complete awe. I can't help but chuckle because after working in this industry for a few years now, you sometimes forget that some artists can still make people star struck. I loved looking over at Mom during the concert and seeing her big grin as she watched this performer who she had grown up listening to. Finally at 10:15 (about 25 minutes beyond the published concert end time) she told me we could sneak out because she knew it was getting late. I still don't know how late the 84 year old legend went on.

Overall it was nice to give my mom an experience she didn't think she would ever get. She gushed the entire way home about how wonderful it was. I love that I am in a position to give my mom such things every now and again. She has been a wonderful parent and an amazing mother, so I'm glad I can make her happy sometimes.

*On a side note / rant. I want to state again that blogs in general are a place for people to go to write and talk about their personal opinions and viewpoints. Typically, bloggers are using the medium as an outlet for their feelings. Are we publishing them for everyone to see? Yes, and often times the reason that is the case is because many of us are trying to find and connect with others who share our interests and maybe not feel so isolated and alone in this world. If you are offended or don't like what you read, then you can do two things: 1) Leave a comment stating your opinion and leave your real name. Spur a conversation, but don't attack the individual. It is really, really easy to hide behind an anonymous name and act tough. If you decide to confront the blogger in person, make sure you have your facts straight and you have actually read the content. If you are going on hearsay, then you aren't doing your due diligence. Most of the time the content that you assume is offensive has been taken out of context. Hell, sometimes even after you read it you may be taking it out of context and reading what you want it to say instead of what it actually says. Often times a sarcastic or joking tone that would come across to some does not translate the same way to others. The second thing you could do - 2) Stop reading the blog. If you don't like what you are reading, then why continue to follow the blog? If I don't like someone, I generally avoid interacting with that person...so if I come across a blog I don't like or agree with or find offensive, then guess what - I'm going to stop reading the blog. Duh. In conclusion, I prefer when people ask me about something they don't agree with or get upset over. It gives me an opportunity to straighten it out and let them know what I was intending instead of what they may have misinterpreted. So that's my stance on blogs. I hope this clears stuff up for everyone. Thanks for letting me get on my soap box.*

Look at...

my super cute dog.



Oh, that's not enough Sly for you? Here, look again:



What can I say? I have the cutest pups in the whole wide world. Now leave comments saying how you agree.

Sick of Being Sick

So I have a sinus infection. It started on Monday night and it is so not fun. I sound like a guy, I'm hacking up a lung every other minute and my nose has become a leaky faucet. I decided to go to a quick care clinic on Wednesday (Sidenote: Those things are kinda great when you don't really get sick very often and don't have a primary care physician yet. This is the second time I've used one when plagued with a cold/flu/sinus-crud-ailment and it is really great to just go in, have the nurse practitioner person confirm that you just need some antibiotics and she sends you on your merry way. Very convenient, and they will use your insurance so it is very affordable too) and she confirmed that it is my sinuses being stupid and gave me some antibiotics. She also confirmed that I'll be fighting it off for another week or so. Not so wonderful to hear.

I find it amusing that every time I get sick I have a moment in the middle of the illness where I forget what it feels like to feel normal and good. And then I bemoan how I'll never feel good again to Ted, who then rolls his eyes at me but hugs me despite my baby-whiny tendencies and tells me that yes, I will in fact feel good again soon. Then he gives me some medicine and lets me lay on the couch watching whatever I want without complaining. I love my husband :)

Ultimate Birth Control: Children's Birthday Parties

Today was our niece Audrey's 3rd birthday party. Today was also the day I discovered that kids scare me, which doesn't bode well for the whole "let's eventually have babies!" plan I got going on. Allow me to elaborate...

I love my nieces. Audrey and Anna are really great girls and I think my judgment of the kids subject gets clouded when they are around. Audrey sings along in her cute little voice to Wonder Pets and I swoon. Anna coos and smiles and I melt. Then we come home and I tell Ted all about how great it will be when we have a kid someday.

Today I saw what other kids are like...honey, it ain't pretty. Two little boys ran around the whole. damn. time. Not just running, but playing with balloons and hitting them all over the house. I wanted to have a heart attack just watching the balloons come dangerously close to hitting Megan's stuff and breaking it. Other kids were running around and screaming. I decided to sit in the corner and play Angry Birds Rio until it was time to cut the cake and open presents.

I guess I just don't know what to believe about kids. On one side of things, I have people tell me "Oh, you want to wait as long as possible until you even think about it. Save your freedom and sanity" and then they laugh as if they have just departed some amazing wisdom my way. As if I needed them to tell me that kids are hard. Duh. I see how difficult Megan's days can be when Audrey isn't so cute and Anna is fussy. But then I see how Anna will sometimes only smile when Megan is nearby and I can't help but wonder why these parents keep telling me not to join that club known as parenthood. Surely they experience that same love and affection that I see with Megan and Anthony and the girls, so why would they send warnings instead of speaking of those wonderful aspects of being able to be a parent? Any time I see wild kids or have a parent try to convince me to 'save' my sanity, I just start questioning whether or not it is something I really want.

Let's face it, I'm a pretty selfish individual. I don't like to clean, I like to sleep a lot, I'm sorta lazy and I have a taste for expensive things. I'm pretty sure that a good mother is none of those things. So, my conundrum is: once you have a baby, do you change into a motherly type person?? What happens if I don't develop the mom gene?

At the end of the day, I know I want to have a family with Ted. Am I terrified at the idea I won't be a good mom? Hell yes. Do I worry that I will have triplets and they'll be boys and I won't be able to handle them? Hell yes. Am I tired of people assuming that I need to be told that parenting is hard work and that I should just run the opposite direction? Yeah, a little. I get it. Stop trying to scare me. It isn't very nice.

Not a Sweet Dream or a Beautiful Nightmare

I'm not really a fan of that song, but I couldn't think of a better title, so it won.

Anyway...

I had a crazy weird dream last night. I'm getting ready for work, and the door bell rings. I find Ted has beaten me to the door...apparently he was not going to work that day because usually he is gone before I'm even awake. He has the door opened and he's chatting with someone. I walk over and who is at the door? Daniel. Of course, I'm rude because how else are you supposed to respond when your ex drops by unexpectedly on a weekday morning. Conversation:

Me: "Oh shit what the hell do you want?"
Daniel: "Wow rude much?"
Me: "Oh excuse me. Hello Daniel how can I help you this fine morning? Better?"
Daniel: "Yes thank you. I was just chatting with Ted here to see if you wanted to look through the furniture Joey is giving us in case you wanted something."
Me: "Fine. I need book cases."
Ted: "Well I guess that's a yes."

We then walk over to Joey's yard, which is covered in random pieces of old furniture. Standing with said furniture is Daniel's wife Lauren, who I have never met. Conversation:

Me: "Hi there. How's it going" (Really, as if I'm friends with her or something)
Lauren: "Hi! We're really good! Joey's being so nice to give us all his old furniture since he is buying new!" (Um, they don't know Joey in reality)
Me: "Oh how wonderful!"

*Awkward pause between the four of us*

Me: "So, which book cases do you not want?"
Daniel: "Those over there" and he points to some crappy small book cases that are coated in a bad white paint.
Me: "What happened to those?"
Lauren: "Oh I wanted to see what they would look like white so I threw a quick coat on them. I don't like them."
Me: "Yeah I'm not a fan."

*Another awkward silence as it is hitting me I've made out with two of the three people I'm speaking to.*

Daniel: "Well, if you don't want them I guess we'll go."
Ted: "Ok thanks for the offer"

Then I wake up. It is official: I've been obsessing over home renovations and improvements for too long, and I've been watching far too much Desperate Housewives episodes. They are all friendly with their exes when they randomly drop into their lives, so that has to be the reason that Daniel suddenly popped up. Yuck.

Safe and Secure

So I'm currently watching the ADT guy install our new security system. It is something I've wanted to get since we moved into the house, but Ted resisted for ten months before giving in on Thursday night. He ultimately wants me to have a peace of mind, but I think deep down he'd prefer not to have the expense. I feel bad for being a Nervous Nelly, but with my childhood, you'd understand why.

My mom is a very nervous person. I love her to death, but I hate driving with her as my passenger because it is a constant "Look out!" "Watch it!" or the sudden sharp intake of air followed by the gripping of the 'oh shit' handle above my car door. The slightest hint of bad weather has her preparing for a category 5 hurricane. When I lived in Ohio if she saw something on the news about a murderer in Cleveland she called to make sure I always remembered to lock my doors. Like she needed to check. She raised me to be just as nervous as she is.

When Blair and I were kids, Dad did a lot of shift work. There were several weeks throughout the year where he worked nights. This would throw my mom into panic mode and she would turn our house into Fort Knox, if we slept at home at all. Sometimes we would sleep at my grandma's cause mom was so worried something would happen. I'm pretty sure Mom would have made a space like this if it had been possible:



Want to know our routine for those weeks? First, Mom made sure the three porch lights were working, and they were left on all night. Then, she made sure the screen door was locked, as well as the three locks on the main door. Then, two of our dining room chairs were placed against the door. Of course, we had two more chairs against the back door as well as the side door. Blair and I made sure we had all the necessary pillows, stuffed animals and blankets, and then Mom would barricade us in her room. Sometimes I'd sleep in a big pallet of blankets on the floor; other times all three of us would snuggle up in my parent's water bed. The thing I remember most is Mom not sleeping, constantly worrying that someone would try to break in while Dad wasn't home.

So, of course this had a huge effect on me. I hate sleeping somewhere alone. In college when a roommate would go away for the weekend, doors were blocked with chairs and lights were left on all night. The TV was also left on because the noise was a comfort. These habits have not changed at all. I've gotten to the point that I have to have the TV on no matter what. Luckily I have an understanding husband. The idea of a home invasion scares the hell out of me, and I fear that my paranoia over it will only increase once we have kiddos.



So, that's why we're getting a security system: I'm a scaredy cat. But can you blame me? Today's world can be a scary place.