10 Year Evolution

Well, I just got back from my 10 year high school class reunion. It was nice to see old classmates and catch up with people who I typically only 'see' through facebook. One of my friends asked an interesting question while there - Did you end up where you thought you would ten years ago? I honestly couldn't answer the question at the time because I couldn't remember what my 18 year old self wanted in life. But after spending some time thinking it over, I'm going to attempt to answer the question.

Just to give you all some background, here's a rundown of 18 year old Meredith:

• Complete band nerd. So focused on getting into a music school so she can get a flute performance degree she took 3 periods of band/music her senior year.
  
• Had a boyfriend of 3 years who she adored, yet thought about cheating on a few times. Never cheated, but really that should have clued her in as to the state of the relationship.
• Had a good number of friends who she thought she'd be close to forever.
• Wanted out of Crosby desperately but figured she would marry the previously mentioned boyfriend and would have kids and all that here; she would just teach private lessons and be a stay at home mom.
• Was a normal teenager full of angst and drama and self importance...could sometimes easily be called a bitch.

Get the picture? So let's compare that to what 22 year old Meredith was like:

• Finished her degree in four years, but had no idea what to do with it. About two months after graduating, she had a meltdown in her parent's kitchen because she just didn't want to play her flute anymore.
  
• Worked at Sears, which she felt was beneath her. Ultimately depressed because she had a college degree and couldn't get hired anywhere other than retail.
• Desperate to get out of Crosby and 'live her life'
  
• Single but completely in love with someone who didn't love her back.
• Still angsty and full of drama. Easily a bitch when she wanted to be.
• Had a small group of friends who she loved; missed her college friends; not really close to some of the people she thought she would still be friends with in high school.

Hmm. Not quite the direction 18 year old Meredith had predicted. Does it get better? Let's check in with 25 year old Meredith.

• Back on track with her career. Living in Ohio to get her master's degree. Proud that she didn't stay in the retail rut. Really living a life that a woman in her early 20's should. Marriage and kids are far away things for her.
  
• Still in love with someone who didn't love her back, but tried to break out of that by partying too much and making out with a few guys in bars and parking lots. Luckily she at least respected herself enough to not cross that fine line into slutville.
• Misses home every now and again, but happy to not live in Crosby.
  
• College friends solidified as the ones who were going to be there for the big events.
  
• Overall still trying to find her fit. She could feel she was heading in the right direction, but at times she felt like she had stalled out.

Well, obviously I still had to do some growing to end up where I have today. Here's how I sum up present day Meredith:

• Married to an amazing guy who had been under her nose for a few years. Luckily she pulled her head out of her ass and saw him standing there. Never ever thought she could feel so secure in a relationship.
• College friends are still around. She is blessed to have them.
• Really wants kids.
• Loves her job and can't wait to see if it will continue to grow.
• Lives in Crosby, where she swore she wouldn't end up and she's happy about it. She's close to her family, which she has come to realize matters most in life.
• Occasionally misses her party days and has a few pangs of yearning for that life. Then, she has a chance to live that way again for a few hours and instantly hates it. Who knew she could be so happy being so utterly boring?

So, if you look at all of those lists, and compare what 18 year old Meredith expected to what happened, I'd say I have far exceeded her expectations. 18 year old Meredith had such a limited viewpoint of the world and had no idea what it could actually be like. Thank goodness I was able to move beyond that point and grow into who I am today.

So let's throw out the question to all of you. Would your 18 year old self be satisfied with where you are today? How did you feel after your high school reunion, or, if you haven't gotten there yet, what do you expect to feel?